band + ing.
tolong. tolong. tolong.
aku tak suka dibandingkan dengan siapa-siapa. jadi, tolong jangan bandingkan aku dengan sesiapa yang berkenaan or tidak berkenaan di luar sana. aku tetap diri aku. orang lain ada pendirian masing-masing, aku pun ada pendirian aku sendiri. and jugak. aku akui segala peristiwa silam adalah sebahagian kelemahan diri aku. aku insaf. aku sedar aku jahat. aku tahu aku tak pandai hargai perasaan dan pengorbanan orang lain. AKU SEDAR. and aku ada alasan aku tersendiri kenapa aku jadi begini sekarang.
and. yes, anda sememangnya benar. aku ego. aku jahat. aku pentingkan diri. orang lain hargai anda tapi bukan aku. salah aku kan? aku mintak maaf sekali lagi. cuma, aku dalam proses mengembalikan diri aku dari zaman silam aku. aku akui itu semua kesalahan aku. itu kesilapan silam aku. katakanlah ini semua luahan sampah dari aku. lantakla. yang penting, aku ada alasan aku tersendiri. dan. tolonglah. aku tak suka dibandingkan. aku ada hal aku, orang lain ada hal orang lain.
sorry kalau anda yang membaca terasa tersinggung. oleh kerana aku berserabut dan stress di saat final exam, aku mudah tersinggung. bila aku tersinggung, inilah yang terjadi. oleh itu, sekali lagi, aku mintak maaf.
Bye.
…
mak & daddy.
i miss you both so much.
sedehhhh.
nevermind.
i’m doing this for both of you.
i love you both so much.
=)
triple dots.
hello world. ive been away for quite some time due to busy-ness. currently listening to purest of pain. that’s the song that i love to listen everytime when i’m down or some say mood-less.
okay. back to life. this semester, let me rephrase, Engineering First Year, First Semester. i dont know how i should describe this sem. there were lots of things happened. lots of things being learnt. lots of things been observed. lots of things experienced. lots of problems faced. lots of ups and downs. lots of dilemmas. lots of hardships. i can still smile. ive faced macam-macam stuffs this semester. which is like urrghh. menyakitkan.
studies. been lagging in lectures. been lagging in tutorials. been lagging in labs. been lagging in quizzes. wth kan? i wish i could turn back time. i wish things were like last semester. although there were times i was down, i still manage to get up and move on with life. what’s going on with me? i attended classes like usual. i did my part in tutorials. i did my assignments. but still, what is wrong with me? i feel a sudden change in myself. is it me or the surrounding is changing, i dont know. life as a degree student is not an easy task. ure always busy, and u seldom can spend time with ur loved ones. that’s from my point of view. agree or not, lantakla. somehow i feel so aimless this semester. where goes all my target, where goes all my goals? sighs. there is something changing drastically around me, and i know it comes right from myself.
i’m just an ordinary girl. i have my own strengths and my own weaknesses. some ppl may think im hypocrite. some ppl may think i’m selfish. whatever you guys are saying, that is your right as a human being. i cant shut your mouth. i cant stop what you are saying. i’m just being me. if you are not comfortable with that, approach me but dont talk bullshits behind me. say you are in my situation, how would you feel? dont mention the word bestfriend. please define the meaning of that word before you can call yourself as my bestfriend. sometimes, i just cant understand why things are going like this. i spend my time sitting down and observing people around me. say what you wanna say, i’m still me and nothing can change that.
sometimes, life can be very unfair. people get what they wanted, what they wished but that dont happen all the time to me. sometimes, things happen by luck. but, whatever it is. this is what i learned as a student of Curtin. been here for 3 sems. it taught me something. be thankful for whatever that you have. appreciate whatever that is apparently in front of you. dont ask for something which is beyond your own limitation. and also. when life is unfair, there is always a time where life can be fair. it’s like a path directing you to something in the future. we cant predict what will happen to us in the future, but at the mean time, we can still change our own future before the future decides everything for us. and also. whatever bullshits from some weird people out there, biarlah. i dont mind you guys judging. continue doing so. who knows, from there i got the initiative to improve my own self for the better. good also kan?
friends. i miss my friends back in Kuching. i miss my friends back in Foundation year. we’ve been through a lot of hurdles to together. been through ups and downs together. i seriously miss my Foundation year. that time, everything went so well. no crisis, no issues, no backstabbing, no bullshitting. macam-macam la. to miss D, thanks for being supportive to me. thanks for your endless advices. to ina, malik and naz. yea. i know this sem very busy jarang spend time with you guys. but you guys are never dilupakan. diingati sentiasa cuma jarang ada masa mok jumpa and hangout kdak dolok. 
the rest, thanks guys and girls. Foundation year was great. tadaa. =)
finals. prrghh. it’s like 5 days to go. i know i shouldnt be here blogging. but sighs. what to do? this is like the way to kill one the percentage of stress. haha. hey, this year is a tough one. i dont know why. and to uncle sonny, uncle benny, izzat and jia menn. thanks for always being there to help me, listen to my stories and so on. best of luck for finals and let’s embrace the future together! 
haha.
Nazrin Arif. if you are reading this blog, sorry lamak dah sik contact ktk. just wanna wish you all the best and goodluck for your upcoming SPM. awin boleh bahh. all the best okay? go little kidd!
Muhammad Asyraf Iskandar. hey. =) lamak sik dgr berita ktk. take good care of yourself in UTP. and not forgotten, good luck and all the best for your final exam.
Melina Lynn Minos & Nur Azreen Hoklai. anak anak dara sekalian. hehe. sik lamak gik STPM. mun baca blog tok, just mok padah goodluck ngan ktk duak. (antara orang terpenting tok) haha. kelak mek balit Kuching kita jumpa okay? kerinduan oii!
Noraihan Pauzi. ohh anak dara tok. nang lamak la sik dgr berita. hehe. ktk orang pun finals gik lamak oww. hehe. han, mek rindu tak seriously. kelak balit Kch catch up ngan ktk. goodluck juak oi!
Adlin Baizura . Nur Diana Ibrahim. Natasha Nur Amarina. Nurul Khairunnisa Hanani. Nursafiah. Qin Qintashia. rindu tak orang ehh. eee. goodluck and all the best semua!
hujung tahun mesti macam-macam exam klua. haihh.
okay. got to go now.
ALL THE BEST KAWAN-KAWAN. =)
doubleZee.
aaaaaaaa :)
salam everyone.
omg. it feels like AGES that i didnt update any post on my blog. waaa. feels so awkward. it’s like i’m leaving the blog just like that. alaaaa. sedehh okay? nevermind. at least i’m back.
LOTS of things had happened. and there LOTS of reasons why i didnt update my blog for quite some time. majority of the reasons are because of the non-stop assignments coming in and out. life is full of reports these days. from lab reports to diary reports to site visit report and lots more on reports! sighs. there’s just too much of workloads kay? sighs.
actually, i was going through my maths tutorials. and i got stuck at this one question and it gave me like hours just to get the solution to the question. and few minutes ago, i was plotting some graphs and doing my lab report. and i feel like vomiting. seriously. these days, i tend to vomit easily when it comes to under stress. my mind was so screwed a moment ago that i decided to blog since i havent blog for quite some time. even i cant recall when was the last time i posted up a post on my blog. (lazy to check the stats okay?)
so. like as usual. when it comes to the end of the semester, final exam is the one that students worry too much, like ME. i still got like so many outstanding workloads which i havent settled them. and the worst thing happening to me this semester is that, woke up late for morning classes. sighs. dont know how i should describe my life this semester. very hectic with the pack schedules. lalala. and and. i am now fully recovered from my fever. after 4 years of not having fever, i finally got my fever back this semester. sleep late some more la. thanks to my parents, my sister & brother in law and also friends around me who were so concern about me. hehe.
lalala. got so many things to mention. like i said, so many things had happened kan? but have to cut them short la. if not, this post is going to be so boring. and for tonight, i dont know what time i’ll sleep. not that i was too bored, it’s just that i’ve been so stressed up, and that’s why i ended up here blogging. hehe.
i guess i got to go. time is up for blogging! need to continue with my reports.
take care ppl.
tata.
doubleZee.
…
layout wordpress membosankan. asyik tengok layout yang sama. aku nak try buat layout background sendiri tapi ilmu aku untuk bab itu masih terlalu cetek. takpa, bersyukur okay zarith?
aku merasa diri aku berubah menjadi…. teruk.
aku kerinduan dengan parents aku weh. bagi aku 8 hari tu masih terlalu lama. sebab apa? sebab dalam masa 8 hari tu jugakla makin banyak assignments aku especially EFPC. *MEMBERONTAK KALI KEDUA*
mak daddy rindu :’(
i really miss both of them. rasa mok nangis jak. serious. rindu gilakkk.
mok balit Kch. xmok balit Miri gik.
mok ambik Media. xmok ambik Engineering. (kata-kata aku sewaktu dilanda kekecewaan) haha!
mok carik ketenangan. xmok ada tekanan.
mok pegi Mekah macam Nur Kasih pegi Jeddah. xmok pegi Lake Curtin sebab ada boyak and anakonda.
priority aku kinek tok,
AKU MOK BALIT KUCHING.
bye.
aku versi Ramadhan.
setelah sekian lama aku meninggalkan post aku ini, akhirnya ada juga masa untuk aku luangkan dengan post aku yang tak seberapa ini. first reason, kenapa aku dah lama tak update blog sebab banyak sangat benda/perkara yang berlaku kat aku kebelakangan ini. second reason, aku selalu busy tahap cipan mengalahkan Menteri Pendidikan. chewahh. third reason, kenapa dengan aku time bulan ramadhan ini?
banyak sangat perkara terjadi kat aku kebelakangan ni, especially time Ramadhan ni. antaranya, emosi aku kerap terganggu. aku tak tahu kenapa. aku dilanda pelbagai workloads sehinggakan aku mengabaikan kesihatan aku sendiri. satu lagi perkara yang aku geram sangat dengan diri aku time Ramadhan ni adalah, aku menjadi penidur yang berjaya. aku tidur banyak wehh. kebelakangan ni, lepas sahur je aku tidur. bangun around pkl 9 (kalau x kelas). then after Zuhur, aku mengantuk. aku tidur lagi sampai lepas asar (dekat2 nak berbuka). geram geram geram. benci dan berterusan membencikan diri sendiri. aku dahla banyak assignments yang tertunggak. tak ckup assignments, tutorials aku pun dah cukup melambak. bila lagi aku nak sedar ni? kalau nak ikutkan aku dah jauh sangat ketinggalan especially mechanics. subject lain aku dpt cope tapi payah untuk mechanics. aaaaaarrrh. aku tekad nak belajar kat library kalau xde kelas. aku admit, aku memang tak dpt duduk kat rumah and study sebab aku tahu aku akan end up tidur sampai berjam-jam. sakit hati dan hampa dengan diri sendiri.
aku semakin bangang dengan hidup. sebab apa? kebangangan itu telah meresap dalam diri kerana aku dilanda reports efpc yang melampau-lampau banyak. mengalahkan abang aku yang bekerja sebagai Marine Engineer, mengalahkan kakak aku sebagai Project Engineer. serious aku cakap. bangang tahap cipan. selain dari efpc, aku bangang lagi dengan diri sendiri sebab selalu sangat procrastinate buat tutorials. tengok apa dah jadi. *menjerit di dalam hati* tak cukup lagi bangang pasal tutorials, aku kerap kali lagging bila berbual dengan orang sekeliling aku. aku blurr wehh. sebab tu post ini dinamakan aku versi Ramadhan. sebab aku rasa ada satu perubahan yang aku tak faham dalam diri aku.
walau apa pun, aku tetap berasa bengang . fedup . sakit hati . geram dengan efpc.
sorrylah post aku kali ini macam emosi semacam. yes, memang aku tengah emosi sekarang. sebab aku rasa dah membuak sangat dalam hati. mengingatkan aku suhu boiler yang dekat SOPB. aku nak kata marah, tak jugak. nak kata benci, tak jugak. geram. sorry sekali lagi. aku cakap ni macam main lepas je kan? aku tahu semua orang pun turut merasa apa yang aku rasa, itu pun kalau ada lah. tapi aku just nak let this thing out sebab aku rasa tertekan yang sangatlah mendalam.
oh lupa. beberapa hari yang lalu, aku balik Kch. sorry kwn2 di Kch sebab tak bagitahu sebab rushing sangat. nak jumpa pun rasanya memang tak sempat. selain bertujuan dipanggil untuk Temuduga, aku happy sangat sebab dpt spend time berbuka puasa dengan parents tersayang. thanks mak and daddy. sayang both of you!
perenggan kat atas ni ada color sebab special sikit. back to main topic. dipendekkan cerita, aku mula tak faham dengan diri aku kebelakangan ni. serious aku cakap, aku macam orang yang tak ada motivation dalam diri sendiri. aku seolah-olah kehilangan kekuatan and semangat dalam hidup. namun, aku jugak seperti orang lain, aku tak putus-putus mintak doa dari Dia. thank you Allah.
okay. aku tahu this is a part of dugaan untuk aku di bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak ini. harus aku terima semua ini dengan hati terbuka dan penuh dengan kesabaran. like i said, aku hanya nak meluah. tak tahu nak kata aku stress ke tak, sebab aku sendiri dah tak faham apa makna nya stress tu. kalau dlm term mechanics, formula macam dekat nak sama dengan pressure. lantakla.
esok? aku tak tahu ada Labs ke tak. yang pasti, aku tetap akan ke campus. misi utama, aku akan menggegarkan Library Curtin. (macam mok polah konsert jak). aku nak sambung tutorials aku yang tak siap. at least aku dah try buat some of them. aku berusaha!then tengahari esok ada meeting, LAGI. ini semua gara-gara efpc. *MEMBERONTAK*
harap-harap aku boleh siapkan tender process document tu sebelum 11 september 2009. besides aku pun kena sediakn bajet planner untuk Efact proposal by tuesday. insyaAllah akan ku langsaikan itu. tapi priority aku pasal report efpc. aku nak sangat benda ni habis cepat supaya release sikit beban di dada aku ni. aku pun ada kerja lain nak buat!
okay. aku dah letih merapu. ya Allah, aku ni macam orang tak bersyukur je. terok terok.
aku berusaha, dan akan terus berusaha!
gambate!
zarith zillullah.
awwwrh..
aisehmen. saat posa tokla aku rindu dengan duak orang insan yang tertera di gambar atas tok. mena-mena rindu. masa kecik time paling best posa. masa kecik dolok aku berolah. kekeke. time posa, aku curi makan biskut yang mak polah pake raya. pasya time bukak posa, eksen molah muka lapar. haihh. terok benar. ohh. yang sebelah kiri di atas tok my beloved mak, Sharifah Nasihat Bt Tuanku Mahmud. yang sebelah kanan pulak, my beloved daddy, Hipeny Bin Said. kerinduan ngan both of you. mak and daddy, thank you for everything. nothing can change my love for both of you. eeee geram. rasa mok pelok mak jak. rindu mak, rindu dadi. rasa mok balit Kuching jak, mok bukak posa ngan mak and dadi. lepas ya boleh pegi terawih sama-sama. haih.
mak & dadi,
I LOVE YOU.
*hugs & kisses*,
baby.
5th day.
it’s the fifth day of Ramadhan. mom and dad dah balik Kuching last night. cried when i hugged daddy at the airport. life is empty without them. feeling the loneliness when i woke up i didnt see them around. admitting that i miss both of them so much, i really do. i could only spend 5 days with them. i wanted them to stay, but they have their own responsibilities too in school. mom and dad, do take care in Kuching. i miss you both so much. i miss going out with them to the bazaars. i miss going to tarawih with my mom. i miss shopping with my mom and joking around with my dad. awrhh. i miss them so much. :”( sighs. Ya Allah, please help me to protect both of them wherever they are. i love both of them so much.
okay. i have to be strong. mom and dad, thanks for your advices. thanks for your concern and thanks for always being there for me. i’m worried of daddy’s health. i’m worried of mom, she tends to get fever so easily. *heart screaming* I WANT TO BALIK KUCHING NOW. how i wish i’m not stuck up with these mountaneous assignments. i wish!
sighs. just had my sahur moments ago. i feel so sleepy but malasla want to sleep. i’m going to start my day with some beneficial stuffs to do. i have tasks to be completed. i have to complete them right before the free week-ends!
will update my blog from time to time. it’s time for shower.
gambate!
doubleZee.
syurgaMu..
Sgala yang ada dalam hidupku
Kusadari semua milikMu
Ku hanya hambaMu yang berlumur dosa
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu
Untuk menggapai SurgaMu
Terangiku dalam setiap langkah hidupku
Karena, Kutahu
Hanya Kau, Tuhanku
Allahu Akbar
Allah Maha Besar
Ku memujaMu di setiap waktu
Hanyalah padaMu
Tempatku berteduh
Memohon ridho dan ampunanMu
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu
Untuk menggapai SurgaMu
Terangiku dalam setiap langkah hidupku
Karena, Kutahu
Hanya Kau, Tuhanku
Allahu Akbar
Allah Maha Besar
Ku memujaMu di setiap waktu
Hanyalah padaMu
Tempatku berteduh
Memohon ridho dan ampunanMu
kenapa?
wehh.
aku tersentak.
kenapa puasa tahun ni aku tak bermaya langsung?
adakah kerana aku sedang cuti seminggu?
terus terang aku cakap, assignment aku satu pun tak siap.
hari ni dah masok hari ke 4 puasa.
setiap petang kalau aku tak tidur tak sah.
weh, apasal jadi macam ni?
tak suka. benci. tak boleh jadi. tak boleh berlarutan.
aku harus lakukan sesuatu la.
esok aku plan nak pegi curtin nak buat assignment.
aku tak boleh berterusan macam ni.
hari ni dah hari selasa.
esok dah hari rabu.
beberapa hari lagi tinggal untuk habis cuti.
assignments pulak due next week. T_T
tutorials aku pulak melambak bagai nak runtuh dah meja belajar aku.
nota aku apatah lagi, nota aku perlukan perhatian dari aku.
tapi AKU?
aku tak bermaya weh.
aku lemah sangat-sangat.
aku perlu kembalikan semangat aku.
aku perlu kesedaran.
HAIH.
aku penat.
zzh90
